Kyon gets a harem
by Gaston1991
Summary: What happen when Haruhi watchs anime harem. M for mature content.


Sorry if some scenes are too immoral but these days anime is so fucked up about sex.

Special thanks once again to MikoGalatea, the beta reader of my story and who really help me and my basics English.

**Kyon gets a harem**

It all started on that day. As usual, Haruhi had arrived in the club room with an idea and she stalked me.

''Haruhi, what do you want?"

''Kyon... I just watched an awesome anime! It was about a guy who ended up with multiple girls and they seemed happy!''

''So?"

''They looked like such a lovely family, and I wondered how it would be in real life.''

I made a mistake then. I didn't really care about what she said. I should've done. I should also have remembered Haruhi was bisexual and so had a chance of loving me _and_ the girls.

Afterwards, I needed to go to the bathroom. When I'd finished my business and washed my hands, I suddenly heard a female voice.

''Kyon... long time no see...''

''A female voice... hey, what are you...''

When I turned my head, I immediately recognized Ryoko, the psycho girl who had tried to kill me.

''R... Ryoko!''

I was afraid for my life, but then Ryoko approached and kissed me.

''Kyon... I want to be with you forever... I'll never try to kill you ever again...''

''Huh... okay...''

I couldn't believe what happened. I returned to the club room while Ryoko took my hand... and had her knife in her other hand.

''If someone is a jerk to my Kyon, I'll kill her!''

''Huh... You don't need to do that to make me happy...''

When I arrived at the club, I was surrounded by the girls.

''Kyon...'' Yuki said, blushing.

''Yuki... you...''

''Hey, Yuki, hello!'' Ryoko said.

''Kyon, I really hate you.'' Haruhi yelled. ''Don't think I love you just because I like looking at you!''

''Oh, Kyon... I like seeing you...'' said a shy Mikuru.

Then Tsuruya appeared behind me. ''Kyon, I love you!'' she laughed.

At that moment, I remembered what Haruhi told me and it all became clear. The tsundere girl, the nice girl, the emotionless girl who learned emotion and love, the yandere and the annoying girl the viewers want to punch... they were acting like stereotypes in an anime harem!

''Oh no,'' I thought. ''Five girls are in love with me. I am so unlucky!''

I suddenly thought about me and the girls in bed. But I tried to fight against that idea. What would people think? How I would survive it? And they were brainwashed. Everything about it was immoral.

''Ryoko, no...'' Mikuru said.

''Come on, it's fun!'' Ryoko said.

I immediately turned to see Ryoko... licking Mikuru's breasts... and what was more, the girls were all naked. Mikuru clearly disliked it.

''W...What...are you doing!?'' I yelled. ''What you're doing is rape, you know!''

''It's not rape because this is yuri,'' Yuki said.

''Kyon, how dare you look at us. Just because we undressed while you were here, it doesn't give you the right to look,'' said Haruhi with her tsundere logic.

''We learn more about each other this way,'' said Ryoko. ''It's important for him to get to know his co-wives.''

''Co... co-wives?! I... I have to go...''

I wanted to leave the room, but then I slipped on a bar of soap that was here for no reason and somehow fell on the girls. I touched their bodies in the process.

''Kyon... YOU JERK!'' Haruhi yelled.

I was able to leave later, after Haruhi kicked me. I realized I'd started to act like a male lead of a harem.

''No... that can't happen to me... but they're so hot...''

I was becoming more and more perverted, but I couldn't let that happen, so I decided the best thing to do was go back home. It wasn't like I would miss anything at school. For some reason, we never study at school and it's like our teachers don't even exist at all!

While I was walking in the corridor, I met Itsuki.

''Kyon! I have something to tell you!''

''What?''

Itsuki then kissed me for several minutes until I managed to push him away.

''W... What is it?!''

''Kyon... I... I love you!''

I was completely frozen. I immediately knew this was Haruhi's fantasy. Itsuki was now completely homosexual and he passed his time trying to hug me.

''Oh, that's so cute!'' Mikuru said.

''Indeed.'' Yuki blushed.

Somehow, the girls had finished their... _affair_ and were now here with their clothes back on.

''Kyon and Itsuki love each other! How cute!'' Ryoko said. ''Go to the club room and do something hardcore.''

''Ye,.'' Itsuki said.

''No way! I'm not going to have sex with you, and especially not in front of the girls!''

''You hypocrite!'' Haruhi said. ''Saying that after watching _us_ having sex!''

''I never asked to see it! You started doing it without asking me to get out of the room and...''

''How dare you use logic on me!'' yelled Haruhi.

She slapped me. Then she slapped Itsuki too because he was a male and for some reason that meant he deserved it. While she was doing that, I was able to escape. The girls ran after me, but I managed to get away.

Several minutes later, I was at home.

''I should figure out how to make it stop, but how? Making Haruhi happy enough with her fantasy so it'll stop ? I would have to... sleep with them... their bodies... no, bad Kyon, _bad!_ I can't do that! It's against my morals!''

''Kyon!'' said a female voice.

That was the voice of my sister. I hadn't noticed her and when I did... I would've prefered to have never seen her. I closed my eyes immediately.

''W... What are you doing naked?!''

''I love you, my brother!'' said the little girl as she hugged me, her brother.

''I am not into lolicon or incest! Go put clothes on, you!''

''You're a meanie! Why don't you love me like every good brother should?''

''Where... where did you learn that!?''

''I don't know!''

Suddenly, the girls showed up in my house.

''What is it?'' asked Yuki.

''This is Kyon's sister naked! She's cute,'' Mikuru said.

''You're into lolicon!'' Haruhi yelled. ''That's disgusting!''

''I am not!''

''Yes you are!'' Haruhi pointed out. ''She's hugging you while you clearly don't want her to do it, so that means you're into loli!''

''That's so funny!'' Tsuruya laughed.

''What is your name?'' Yuki asked my sister.

''My first name is Kyon's and my last name is sister,'' explained... Kyon's sister.

''What about going to the beach?'' asked Tsuruya. ''That could be fun.''

''Yeah!'' said the girls.

''What a coincidence. I have bikinis in my pocket,'' Yuki said.

I really didn't want to go to the beach with them in that state.

''Can I say my opinion... no, wait, I'm suppose to be the male lead of a harem so my opinion doesn't count...''

''Kyon, you should leave the room so we can change.''

''Okay.''

I moved to the second floor, but when I got to my bedroom, the girls were there and they had their bikinis on them. They yelled at me.

''Kyon! Don't look at us changing!'' Mikuru said.

''YOU PERVERT!'' Haruhi punched me in the face and I fell to the floor. I had no idea how they could be in my bedroom before me, but logic didn't exist anymore by that point.

''Now we're ready to go to beach!'' Haruhi said.

''Why were you angy I saw you in a bikini if you were already prepared?!''

Later we were at the beach. The girls were in the water doing fanservice while I sat on the sand. Someone arrived on the scene then.

''Kyon!''

''Itsuki...'' I said without looking at him. ''I told you, I'm not into guys...''

''That's okay, because I'm a girl now!''

''W... Wh...''

I stopped talking. Itsuki was now a cute girl with long hair and boobs of a good size. I'd never seen such a cute girl before. Even Ryoko and Mikuru was nothing compare to girl Itsuki.

''Kyon, hug me!''

''S...Sure.''

I hugged her. It was a good feeling... but then I noticed he had a good feeling too!

''Itsuki! What do I feel between your legs?''

''Huh... An error that happened during my operation?''

''Your hair... it's fake!''

''Hey, my wig!''

''God, that's disgusting. How can it get any worse!?''

It _was_ going to get worse. Ryoko had found something in the beach.

''Hey look, I found a vacuum in the sand,'' Ryoko said. ''Oh, the color isn't blood red... I don't want it.''

''I want to use it, if it doesn't bother anyone,'' Haruhi said.

Haruhi put her finger on the vacuum and then it went mad. The vacuum was so powerful that all the girls' bikinis were sucked off and it went in the sky afterwards.

''Oh no, we're naked!'' Mikuru cried.

''We have two solutions,'' Yuki explained. ''One, we go in the water and ask Kyon to get us new bikinis. We wait in the water until he returns. Or two, we go crying to him.''

''I choose the second one, but he'd better not look at me naked!'' Haruhi said.

I didn't notice it since I was still yelling at Itsuki. I don't know how I knew what I didn't see; it was kind of confusing.

''I can't believe you did that!''

''That's because you don't have enough imagination.''

''Brother! Help me!'' my sister yelled.

''Kyon! Help us!'' said the other girls.

When I heard the girls, I turned my head and I saw them naked. I blushed, and for some reason _they_ were the ones who had nosebleeds. They then surrounded me and hugged me. I could feel their breasts... I liked it... no, I should resist!

''Kyon!'' the girls cried.

''You're so funny!'' Another voice came out of nowhere.

This voice... I recognized this one.

Suddenly, the adult Mikuru appeared on the scene.

''Oh, a human adult. I've never seen one before and she is pretty good looking.'' Ryoko smiled.

''Hey, you look familiar,'' Mikuru said.

''I am you from the future and I am your boss.''

''Why are you here?'' I asked.

''I observed you today and I suddenly realized I was in love with you and all the girls. So I want a harem for you, but you still resist. That's why I made sure the girls lost their bikinis so you would turn into a pervert.''

''That's disgusting!'' Haruhi yelled ''Take this, bitch!''

Haruhi slapped me again.

''Hey, why did you slap me? It's _her_ fault!''

''Now I'm pretty sure our Kyon is almost a pervert. He just needs... a mature body.'' The adult Mikuru smiled.

She then undressed in front of everyone.

''Oh my God...'' I thought. ''She is the best of all the girls... No... I should... I should...''

I then shouted.

''I LOVE ALL OF YOU! I LOVE YOUR PERSONALITIES! I LOVE YOUR BOOBS! I WANT TO BE WITH EVERYONE FOREVER!''

''Oh Kyon...'' said the girls.

''I knew he liked my boobs!'' Itsuki said.

They gave me a huge hug. When they stopped, the adult Mikuru gave clothes to the girls. She disappeared, and they then fell asleep on the beach.

Thank God, the next day everything returned to normal and everyone seemed to have forgotten everything... though I'm not sure about Itsuki, since he said I got him pregnant. I hope that was just a random joke.

The End


End file.
